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The World’s Cheesiest Love Songs

Tuesday, February 12th, 2008

Here I go again, flaunting my adulation for cheesy love songs… (do I hear toilet flushing in the background?)… Can you imagine a world without cheesy love songs? No, you can’t. Because cheesy love songs are the soundtrack of our lives. Where were you when this cheesy song was number one… one… one… one? In the toilet, of course, crying over a crush named “Pimple With a Face.”

Cheesy love songs define who we are, determine what we eat, what underwear we wear on pay day, what day we pick our nose, what time of the day we fart. Oh yes, cheesy love songs are the total eclipse of our collective heart, the wind beneath our collective wings… our forest primeval… our… OK. I’m done.

Check the list out at http://sound of toilet flushing



Across the Universe… to Polaris

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

I’m having goose bumps. You too, if you’re a die-hard Beatles fan. Read, or I’ll cut my wrists on YouTube.

“On February 4th, 2008, NASA will transmit the Beatles tune “Across the Universe” to the star Polaris, 431 lights years distant, to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the song’s recording and to celebrate NASA’s 50th anniversary. NASA’s Deep Space Network, an array of large antennas used to communicate with spacecraft beyond low Earth orbit, will beam the song out at 6:00 p.m. CST (7:00 p.m. EST). This observation has the full support of Paul McCartney, Yoko Ono and the Apple record label. The lyrics are printed below.”

Read the full article here



Those creepy songs about rodents

Friday, February 1st, 2008

muskrats

Back to Tom Reynold’s ‘Touch Me I’m Sick – The 52 creepiest love songs you’ve ever heard’. Sorry, I can’t get enough of this book. It’s just that somebody has to remind us constantly how many of the songs we love really suck, and how cutesy melodies can sanitize really awful lyrics. Especially if the song is about rodents! Hey, I have hamsters and I love them. But I would never write songs about “bacon nibbling” and “cheese chewing” rats!



‘Fuck you and your Tagalog market’

Saturday, January 26th, 2008

Between the later part of 2006 and middle of 2007, I received three offers from three record labels to reproduce and distribute Missing Filemon’s two albums – the debut ‘Mising Filemon (Suroysuroy)’ and ‘Sinesine’. “And if things are good, we have money for your third album,” they told me. The condition, and this had to be on contract and non-negotiable: “Write a few songs in Tagalog, and record some Tagalog versions of your old hits.”

I told them something like “Fuck you and your Tagalog market.” I never heard from them again. I was reminded of this after reading Bordowitz on Nirvana and the Seattle ‘grunge’ scene. Read, too, what made Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ work. If there’s a song that gave me courage to finally quit my seminary studies, this would be it.



Cebu flop music festival

Friday, January 18th, 2008

Caught in a time warp, these people! What ‘popular music’ are they talking about? I’m not a huge fan of Bisrock – many Bisrock songs suck bigtime. But despite its flaws, Bisrock has done what Cebu Flop Music Festival can only dream of, that is making Binisaya songs popular to the masses. ‘Nuff said!



Worst songs of all time

Sunday, January 13th, 2008

I googled for the worst songs of all time and my suspicions were confirmed, that “MacArthur Park” would top the list. This song never failed to make it to the top ten in all the lists that popped up.

  • Dig this
    – MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
    All the sweet, green icing flowing down
    Someone left the cake out in the rain
    I don’t think that I can take it
    ‘Cause it took so long to bake it
    And I’ll never have that recipe again
    Oh, no!

HA-HA-HA

click-to-know-that-your-favorite-horse-with-no-name-is-also-a-stupid-song



Little ditties about oral sex and masturbation

Saturday, January 12th, 2008

I can be dirty, creepy, sick even, but when it comes to writing lyrics, I surprise myself at how I unconsciously avoid double entendres. Not that I have anything against this standard songwriting device. I tried to, once or twice (see? I’m not against it, and I still listen to the naughty Dos Polgadas and laugh out loud when there’s a chance). But when I was in the studio to record the songs, I chickened out and changed the lyrics. I’ll leave the double-meaning lyrics to other bands. — insoymada



Alive/Pearl Jam

Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

Last Christmas, a colleague bought me the book ‘Touch Me, I’m Sick – The 52 creepiest love songs you’ve ever heard’ by Tom Reynolds. The book pillories artists for writing songs that “for some reasons have gone off the rails into the realm of the tawdry, the overwhelming, the obsessive, the self-absorbed, and the completely weird.”

It’s so entertaining (and downright hilarious) that I can’t help sharing with you excerpts from some of the articles. To Mr. Reynolds (assuming that somebody other than my girlfriend reads my blog), I’m a huge, huge fan of yours, so I hope you don’t mind.

To you guys, If I leave you hanging after every post, it’s because nothing beats buying the book. So go check it out.

Let’s start off with Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive’…



As usual, but not quite

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

talked with the band during the boat trip home from surigao. and as usual, they had this charming way of making me ditch the plan to leave. it happens all the time. but at least this time, it’s a compromise. no more “tabi-tabi” gigs for me. and i have my reasons, most of them too personal to share even with the best buddies, like bandmates. i don’t care if it’s one gig a year until all of us disappear to rot in a place called Dubai.

i have always hated playing live. i don’t even know why i’m in a band in the first place.

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playing live was not among my plans when this whole bisaya rock thing started. i just wanted to write songs, give copies to close friends and let the songs live their own pathetic lives. and my bandmates knew this. only that they don’t share with me the same weird, anti-crowd motivation to be in a band.

and oh, the surigao gig! it was one of our best gigs since.. .. high school. payter! i told myself, “if it’s going to be my last live performance, might as well give it my best.” and that was what happened.



This is not a new year shit

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

And I won’t even talk about it. You’re not supposed to do anything when you’re hung over.

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You have your hamsters as perfect topic for the next column. Year of the freakin’ rodents. It’s all in the head now. But it can wait. There’s the Surigao gig this weekend. Probably your last. Leaving the band has been put on hold for months now. This time you’re going to do it, because what used to be an ultimate high has become boring. A solo project, maybe this year. But you can’t talk about it right now. You’re hung over.





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