I will have to be honest with you here, dear readers, and I trust you to keep my secrets safe in your hearts. So don’t pass this around.

I have a severe case of identity crisis such that I avoid carrying with me things that will cast doubt about my gender. I’m talking about umbrellas. I can’t think of a more feminine item, except navel rings, and of course skinny jeans — that pair of pants made from “ultra comfortable girdle fabric” that slims a woman’s thighs, lengthens her legs, lifts her buttocks and promises to make her look 15 pounds thinner.

Read More Here…