THAT a lot of people don’t like the police is not surprising. The public and men in uniform (including the military) have always been inimical to each other. The public thinks cops can’t be trusted while cops think the public is so damn right. So the police created a non-crime related office called Police Community Relations (PCR) to convince the public they’re friends.

Like any police office, the PCR is composed of cops. But instead of going out in the streets to hunt for snatchers, PCR cops visit crime-prone communities and wear stupid Santa hats during Christmas, bringing gifts to little rugby boys and girls, who will eventually grow up to become big rugby boys and girls.

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Anti-crime groups, I’m with you in your pursuit of justice. Police officials in desperate need of pogi points, I’m with you too. But when it comes to how police present crime suspects to the media, like it’s already a case solved, I’m with the innocent.

And who’s the “innocent?” Every one of those lined up before the cameras, handcuffed, wearing an orange shirt with the word “detainee” on it, and with a piece of cardboard hanging around his neck bearing his name and his supposed crime. Why not get it done with by including the names of the suspect’s family and friends as well? Because that’s practically what the police are doing, shaming an entire network of friends and lovers even before any case could be filed in court.

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This column was inspired by emails sent to me by friends whose genuine concern for the improvement of police service in our country has brought them to places like Tightsqueeze, Virginia; Dorking, Surrey; and Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. 

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Before the Jose de Venecia ouster and the Rodolfo ‘Jun’ Lozada Jr. expose, there was a more compelling issue that sadly slipped the public’s mind. I’m referring to a PNP memorandum entitled: “The Revival of Baton in the Maintenance of Peace and Order in the Philippines,” with its enlightening sub-head, “Maintaining the Country’s Peace and Order through the Revival of the Baton.”

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Here’s something our city government should consider: http://cops-so-fat-they-can’t-see-their-weewees

The PNP organization has issued a memorandum to all its units nationwide that police officers must don the Santa Claus outfit when on duty, especially when doing raids and patrols. The PNP believes criminals behave like children at the sight of jolly old Santa: instead of running away from the authorities, they run towards them expecting toys rather than warrants of arrest.

Made as basis for the order was a study done by the PNP’s Department of Yuletide Criminal Behavior, an agency so top secret that it doesn’t exist. It says that in the weeks covering the Christmas season, criminals acting like children also act like bulls in their attraction to the color red. The only difference is that unlike that of a bull’s, a criminal’s attraction to red is friendly.

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