I wouldn’t have wanted to post anything about rectums here because that part of our body has suffered enough already. But there’s an aside in the VSMMC scandal that helps us newsroom people cope with the stupidity of it all (we look for something amusing in the news, or we won’t survive this kind of job). In cases like the VSMMC scandal, the media is not allowed to name the victim, so we assigned a name for him. But when you have several media outlets covering the same story and assigning a name to the victim, confusion starts.

Sun.Star calls the victim “Janjan” – at his request.

Cebu Daily News calls him “Danilo”

Balitang Bisdak calls him “George”

One radio station calls him “Mr. Florist”

Balitang Barbero (that’s the general public for you) calls him “Bayot”

Imagine what happens if there are five news patrons talking about the same story, each following the news separately in the five media outlets mentioned above.

Might go something like this:

“Have you heard the news? The names are out already. Janjan will have…”

“Janjan? Why name only one doctor? What about the rest of the medical team? It’s unfair to Danilo?”

“Hey guys. Janjan, Danilo, they’re all the same fucking doctors with different names. They deserve a Coke Litro up their ass. Naming them won’t undo things. They have done irreparable damage to George.”

“Wait, wait. Are you talking about Mr. Florist?”

“I think it’s Dr. Flores, not Mr. Florist. Be careful with names. And besides, si Bayot ra gihapon ang ma-blame aning tanan. Nganong ipasangil man nato nilang Janjan, Danilo ug kinsa pa na diha?”

Hmmm… nice idea for a column (hehehe).

Still on the topic. You think we Filipinos have exclusive rights to rectal scandals? Here’s another medical case involving the poor rectum. read leave my rectum alone.