barokCHANGE your profile picture to a cartoon character from your childhood and invite your friends to do the same. Until Monday (Dec. 6) there should be no human faces on Facebook, but an invasion of memories. This is a campaign to stop violence against children.

But we’re sorry to tell you that you can’t use Pinoy cartoon characters because they are so ewwwww. You are the children of this generation with Justin Bieber as your cultural icon, so please don’t use anyone from this list called “Insoymada’s Top 10 Pinoy Komiks Characters:”

1. Kenkoy–Tony Velasquez’s Kenkoy is the first komiks superstar. This hilarious portrait of the Filipino, trying but always failing to keep up with his American mentors, was born in the Liwayway comics in 1929.

When you say, “I so love my BF because he is so kenkoy,” you now know where the word came from. And you jejemons out there, Kenkoy’s been there, done that with his trademark lines like “Halo, how is yu?”, “watsamara” (what’s the matter), “dats oret” (that’s all right), “nating duwing” (nothing doing), “okidoki” (okeydokey), “lets tek ewok” (let’s take a walk), “is beri nesesari,” and “bay gali.”

2. Darna–Created by Mars Ravelo, Darna is the Pinoy version of Wonder Woman. Darna was originally known as Varga and first appeared in Bulaklak Magazine in 1947. Ravelo had differences with his editors, presumably over Darna’s bust line. Hence, the change to “Darna.”

The character was re-launched in 1950. And 56 years later, a noisy, genitalia-oriented band called Kamikazee went mainstream with their song “Narda,” Darna’s stone-swallowing alter ego on Earth.

3. Zsazsa Zaturnnah-–She is a more muscular Darna with a distinct twist: Ada, her alter ego, is a homosexual male who owns a beauty salon. Created when the Internet revolution was in full swing in 2002, Zaturnnah attracted tremendous media attention as the “first superhero gay komiks character.” I’ve always suspected there’s more to hair spa and rebond inside those beauty salons.

4. Bondying-–Our little big boy was created by Ravelo in 1951. Ravelo again? Carlo J. Caparas is funny too. HA-HA. Anyway, Bondying is a full-grown man who talks like a baby and loves polka-dot diapers. His grandmother treats him like a baby even after he starts growing chest hair, therefore committing a unique form of child abuse.

But he is smart and can do things that a normal baby-man finds difficult, like singing along to Sting’s “De Do Do Do De Da Da Da” while sucking his large bottle of milk. I’m a fan of Jimmy Santos, so I stop here.

5. Barok–A creation of Bert Sarile, Barok is a funny caveman living in Stone Age Philippines. He leads stoned Orokan tribesmen in mass producing stone Orocan kitchenware, settling petty Orokan disputes by slaying guilty constituents with his Orocan stone spatula. Barok the comic strip was made into a movie in 1977 starring Chiquito as Barok.

Then my music hero Yoyoy Villame wrote the songs “Barok Goes to Hong Kong” and “Tarzan At Barok” to complete his epic collection called “Pilipin Histori in Tralala Myusik.”

The runner-ups:

6. Polgas–the wise and philosophical pet dog of the obese Sungcal family.

7. Mang Kepweng-–He heals any malady with potion, oils, herbs, and an overdose of laughter.

8. Kulafu–is Tarzan relocated in the deep jungle of the Visayas to rid the region of Visayan siokoy. He lives on in the label of the famous Tsinoy Sioktong called Vino Kulafu.

9. Asyong Aksaya-–is a wacky millionaire who lights a cigarette with a wad of bills. At least he’s wacky. Most rich today have the sense of humor of a water lily.

10. Zuma-–The original trailblazer in the action puzzle genre! Fire colored balls to make sets of three, but don’t let the chain reach the golden skull or you’re history! With over 20 temples to explore and two unique gameplay modes, Zuma is a non-stop puzzle challenge….Wait, that’s another Zuma. Our Zuma is a Pinoy comic book character that has a two-headed snake that rests on his shoulders….Oh, but I hate snakes.

(SUN.STAR CEBU, DEC. 7, 2010)