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Archive for the ‘funny, bizarre and outrageous’ Category

Nalumos sa noodles

Monday, April 14th, 2008

Our Korean friends never seem to run out things to amaze us. First there was the mysterious V sign, next they jumped on each other in some water cliff down south (a sad chapter in our province’s korean-dominated tourism industry), now here’s this news about them celebrating what they call Black Day, where lonely hearts drowned their sorrows in black noodles. And they’re serious about it. If you commiserate with our flamboyant neighbors, read kagul-anan gilumsan sa noodles.

What the quirky shopper wants

Thursday, April 3rd, 2008

The mall claims to offer everything. But the quirky shopper soon feels cheated after finding nothing there to satisfy his eccentric needs.

(In one’s eccentricity, one’s identity is defined. The more a person bares his idiosyncrasies, the more he stands in the crowd. He’s an eyesore, an irritant, but a character nevertheless. In contrast, people who try to blend and look “normal” fade in the background. They are the conformist, bereft of a personality. Burger and coke in the land of stewed snake and lambanog (fiery coconut-based wine).)

WATCH OUT! A bra bomb!

Friday, March 28th, 2008

> Incidents of female terrorists hiding explosives in “sensitive areas” are on the rise and provides a picture of a “bra bomb” that was used to train agents. <

I wonder if we already have it here, I mean the bra bomb, not the nipple ring.

check this story outat nipple security

Enough please

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

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‘My pami-ley’

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

The time I spent transcribing this could have been spent on beer. It’s Sunday. But it’s OK. This is the greatest moment in our country’s beauty pageant history.



Host: Number 15, Janina San Miguel. Janina, how are you?

Janina: I’m fine.

Host: Alright. So you won two of the major awards – best in long gown, best in swimsuit – do you feel any pressure right now?

Janina: No, I don’t feel any pressure right now.

Host: Confident! Alright! Please choose a name of a judge…. We have Ms Vivienne Tan.

Tan: Good evening.

Janina: Good evening.

Tan: The question is what role did your family play for you as candidate to Binibining Pilipinas?

Janina: Well, my family’s role for me es so important, becos… der was dow, dir, dey was da one… whoo’s…very… haha… oh, I’m so sorry. Um, my pami-ley, my fami-ley… oh my God. I’m… OK, I’m so sorry. I, I told you dat I’m so honfident. Eto, ahmm wait: Ahahahaha. Um, sorry guys becos des was really my perst pageant ever! Because I’m only seventeen years old. And, ahaha-hee. I, I did not ikspek dat I came from… I came from one of da taff ten. Hmm… So… but I said, dot… my family es da most important persons in my life. Tenk you.

Ginadili ang mamatay

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

There’s a place where it is now illegal to die. And the village chief actually threatens his constituents with severe punishment if they drop dead. I’m not sure how punishing the dead can be done. But check it out at http://where dying is a sin.

What the… !

Monday, March 3rd, 2008

In February, a court in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, sentenced Briton Keith Brown, 43, to the standard four-year minimum term in prison for violating the country’s extreme “zero tolerance” drug laws, even though the only drug found was a “speck” (0.003 grams) of cannabis caught in the tread of his shoe and discovered only because the Dubai airport uses sophisticated drug-detection equipment. Previously, a Canadian man was imprisoned for “possession” of three poppy seeds (from a bread roll he had eaten at Heathrow Airport in London) that had fallen into his clothing as he prepared for a flight to Dubai. [The Independent (London), 2-20-08]

The problem with cats

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

OK, so is it Nike or Adidas?

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

“I’m tired of this back-slapping ‘Isn’t humanity neat?’ bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are.” Bill Hicks

Check out if German shepherds can tie their shoes at http://bantay wants a new pair of Chuck Taylor.

Little boy Manny

Monday, February 25th, 2008

Please, please, stop dissing Manny Pacquiao for his gambling and

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womanizing. He’s just a child. Ask his friend Erik.

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