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EVERYTIME Mr. Ryan Cayabyab opens his mouth, the country’s music buffs listen. They know that if they don’t, there’s no more reason left to respect each other.

“Hey, we just snubbed Ryan Cayabyab. Now let’s snub Levi Celerio, too, and Jose Mari Chan, and Rey Valera.” And so on, and so forth, until the younger generation follows suit and murders Ely Buendia, Vennie Saturno, Ogie Alcasid and Rico Blanco, in that order. It’s going to be the Stupid Noontime Show of the Philippine music industry. Imagine listening to Lito Camo songs all your life.

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The 2008 FAMAS Awards was held last Saturday, November 29, 2008 at the Manila Hotel.

Katas ng Saudigrabbed most of the awards, followed by A Love Story, Ataul for Rent and Resiklo

Here are the official list of winners from the 56th FAMAS Awards!

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I was cleaning the toilet bowls of the San Carlos Seminary College in Mabolo, Cebu City in 1993 when I heard a song by the Eraserheads for the first time. The music came from a house just outside the seminary’s west wall, from a room where the owner’s daughter would sometimes treat us seminarians to long-distance striptease at night.

I froze, a bottle of muriatic acid in one hand and a toilet bowl swab in the other. Who was this guy warbling about his house being small yet clean, pati sa kusina? And what was my favorite childhood rhyme “pen pen de sarapin de kutsilyo de almasin” doing in the song? What decent songwriter would use Skyflakes and Coke 500 in his lyrics? And what guts to base his song on Nat King Cole’s “Too Young.”

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By going to the event, you are helping poor talented students get a two-month free art education. See you.

I first read this in Pambie’s blog. It’s an old piece. It’s a Commencement Address by Bono, co-founder of DATA (Debt AIDS Trade Africa), and lead singer of U2, at the University of Pennsylvania, May 17, 2004. Our new graduates – and you who have chosen to forget what education is for – might want to check it out and get hammered in the head.

BECAUSE WE CAN, WE MUST

My name is Bono and I am a rock star. Don’t get me too excited because I use four letter words when I get excited. I’d just like to say to the parents, your children are safe, your country is safe, the FCC has taught me a lesson and the only four letter word I’m going to use today is P-E-N-N. Come to think of it ‘Bono’ is a four-letter word. The whole business of obscenity–I don’t think there’s anything certainly more unseemly than the sight of a rock star in academic robes. It’s a bit like when people put their King Charles spaniels in little tartan sweats and hats. It’s not natural, and it doesn’t make the dog any smarter.

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WHILE you’re reading this, presumably over froccino and choco chip cookies, school children elsewhere in the province are being made up in the image and likeness of mermaids and fairies and ogres in a bucolic dream of placing their barangay in the self-conscious map called tourism. We’re becoming an island of festivals and all you care about is your coffee getting cold!

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The mall claims to offer everything. But the quirky shopper soon feels cheated after finding nothing there to satisfy his eccentric needs.

(In one’s eccentricity, one’s identity is defined. The more a person bares his idiosyncrasies, the more he stands in the crowd. He’s an eyesore, an irritant, but a character nevertheless. In contrast, people who try to blend and look “normal” fade in the background. They are the conformist, bereft of a personality. Burger and coke in the land of stewed snake and lambanog (fiery coconut-based wine).)

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check this site out at mananap nga mosulti.

I’VE BEEN IN many death-defying rides my whole reckless life, but nothing comes close to the habal-habal experience.

To those who don’t know what a habal-habal is, it’s a beastlike, three-legged, hairy creature that crawls on its belly, ready to devour snobby urbanites like you. So stop reading this column, finish your orange crème frappuccino and leave us to our petty, bucolic indulgence.

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