angry girl(I’ve been asked to give talks, mostly in campuses, on how to be an effective writer. For those who made the right decision not attend those talks, the following is a summary of my advice. I’m serious)

NOW a few tips on how to write an effective letter.

1. Keep it short and to the point. Make it concise, factual and focused. Don’t exceed one page or you will lose your reader.

2. Focus on what the recipient needs to know. Imagine him seated accross a table from you. What essential information does that person need to know?

3.Use simple language. Your letter should be straightforward, clear and precise. Use short sentences. One sentence one idea. A paragraph should have no more than three sentences. Use language that is familiar to the intended recipient.

4. Reread and revise. Make a draft then review it. Put yourself in the place of the addressee. Imagine yourself receiving the letter. How would you react to it? Would it answer all your questions?

5. Check spelling and grammar. Your letter is an extension of yourself. Sending it with spelling and grammar errors speaks of a sloppy and unprofessional letter sender.

Below is an example of an effective letter. It was found abandoned in a bar in Manila years ago and has since been preserved in its original form. After a friend from UP Cebu emailed it to me last month, I thought it best to share the classic with you.

October 1996

To Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you. Why? What reason you can think about but you’re very fat body. I thought before that dennis can only use me to his toy but sooner and later I’m realize that he really can’t not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you’re habit of making paki-alam all his walks [lakad]  and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that. And then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you’re very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thoughth your the most preetiest girls he knows about. What do you think you are “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Marie Chan?

Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I’m never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me a different name, I dont have any other choice but to call you other different name to.

Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl. Shame to your body that is to a BUDING. You can’t not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I’m repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

Love,

The Sexiest Girl of D.M.

P.S. You say that I’m the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed.

Me or you? You or me? And the final is me. There you go.