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Archive for October, 2010

My mom the goldfish

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

goldfishSPENDING all my non-office hours in the hospital for four months now has taught me a lot of medical words that I wouldn’t have otherwise discovered shooting down adjectives and adverbs in the newsroom. Tracheostomy, for example.

Tracheostomy is a surgical procedure which consists of boring a hole through a 79-year-old asthmatic second-hand-smoker retired teacher’s throat so that a PVC pipe can be inserted through to make her look like an abandoned DPWH drainage project. Seriously, tracheostomy is a surgical procedure performed to make it easier for us children to pump oxygen into our mother’s lungs because she’s too sick and tired and bored to do the breathing herself.

OK Ka Lily

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

A man pays tribute to the ukulele of his childhood, a gift from his father, which he named after the girl he fancied next door. Check this song out, part of the band’s long overdue third album. Ignore Uncle Paul in the picture. He’s just there for the mandatory support. The link below


In-flight scandal

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

cebupacificIn college, I was a member of the school’s official performing arts group. By official, I mean we were the ones sent by the school to different parts of the province to convince graduating high school students there’s more to college than Differential Calculus and Terror Professor 101: there’s Tinikling and Maglalatik, too. And if you’re super talented, like I was back then, you will be given the most noble and profound task of donning a G-string and exposing your skinny white legs in an Igorot dance, so enrol

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in our school now and enjoy a 50 percent discount in miscellaneous fees and ID lamination.

Dot Com columnist

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

writerI’m not exactly sure when this practice of columnists putting their contact information at the end of their columns began. When I started reading newspapers, there was only the apathetic period at the end of a column, or a question mark for that rhetorical ending, or an occasional exclamation point for the angst-ridden. Emoticons were not invented yet.

If a reader wanted to tell the columnist he wrote crap, he had to address his letter to the publisher in the hope of reading it in the paper’s Letter to the Editor Section 48 years later. Or he could opt to barge into the newsroom brandishing a machine gun for a more immediate response. But even this more violent option didn’t always ensure success since not all columnists worked regular hours in the newsroom.

That Band Years Ago

Monday, October 4th, 2010



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