Drug users have this amazing talent for coining slang words for their drug experiences. There’s no formal agreement on their usage, no Academy to officially declare “spatula” as slang for any drug that has an officially funny name, like Box of Kittens.

If you don’t know Box of Kittens, it is a drug used as a treatment for cardiovascular disease caused by boredom. Possible side effects include sneezing, tiny scratches and erectile dysfunction, says Dr. John “J.D.” Dorian of “Scrubs.”

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I spent my childhood thinking of Bohol as populated not by humans by monkeys so small you need a microscope to see them. To my lovely Boholano friends, I didn’t make this article up as I learned these things from my elementary education, which fed me with pictures of your beautiful island as nothing but mysterious hills and primates, and a little bit of Dagohoy in between.

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A NEWS item that came out in this paper last Sunday had me googling the words “videoke” and “killings.” Just when I thought videoke violence is nothing but media exaggeration caused by a dearth of newsworthy events on weekends, this story about a stabbing inside a videoke bar in my hometown of Pinamungajan convinced me the Aquino administration should now create a task force to investigate videoke killings in the country.

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