2009 February | iNSOYMADA

Archive for February, 2009

Have a happy period

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

happy-period I’ve been accused of writing about things that shouldn’t merit a space in the Main Opinion pages of a respectable newspaper such as the one you’re holding now. Serious opinion readers — meaning those who can understand the content of a Michael Rama speech – emailed me that I should be transferred to the Entertainment Section where I would write pieces like “Why Kris Aquino is the Most Irritating Personality in Philippine Showbiz.”

So for a change, I’m now going to talk about something that is really political: Menstruation and Sanitary Napkins. Email me if you’re happy now.

Not the flowers at Sto. Rosario

Monday, February 16th, 2009

lily

AMONG the many reasons I don’t last in a relationship beyond three months is that I don’t give flowers to my girlfriends during Valentine’s Day. I can’t understand how flowers mean the world to girls on this very special occasion.

One Valentine’s Day years ago, I tried giving flowers for the first time to a girlfriend. I sneaked inside her room while she was out, placed the flowers on her table and hid behind the door to observe her reaction once she’d seen the deepest expression of my affection. My plan was to spring up from behind and kiss her while she’s smelling the flowers, just like in the movies.

From g-string to ballroom dancing

Monday, February 9th, 2009

ballroom1 FOR those of you who haven’t been back to any college campus after graduation, here’s an update: they now teach ballroom dancing there. This means education officials were not singling my generation out after all when they forced us to choose between ROTC and the Campus G-string Cultural Ensemble, which was funded by the campus-owned Wear the Silly Bahag Scholarship Foundation.

I mean, what academic benefit is there to gain from dancing naked with only a piece of cloth barely covering your pubic area? As a rule, a male college student is lanky in a funny, angular way, such that when you ask him to execute body movements, like the Igorot dance, all educational and cultural benefits he is supposed to gain from the experience is offset by the embarrassment brought about by an exposed underdeveloped butt.